Dear sister, April, my birthday month, gifted me huge life lessons in a nice gorgeous package with a shiny golden bow. I say this because each experience had a clear learning opportunity and I knew exactly what it was. I also knew that it was how I navigated it that would indicate whether or not I was ready for the next chapter in my life. This time period, from April 2nd to June 2nd was a gigantic initiation. There were moments it hurt so much and I felt so uncomfortable that I was lost in the emotion. Other times I felt afraid, lonely, and misunderstood. Ultimately the one lingering emotion was fear. It was fear that I would no longer be safe in relationship with others, fear that I would be left and unloved, fear that I was a total fraud and had no business being a space holder for women.
The question that arose through every tricky situation was, “What do I stand for?” But that felt to general; a bit vague and a way to sidetrack the real question. The real question was not what do I stand for but rather -
Do I stand for Sora? Do I stand for me?
You see, it wasn’t about whether or not I was fulfilling my life’s work and have the ability to articulate my values. It was about embracing the full range of myself and acknowledging the greatness that was within me.
Each time I said YES to me - another big learning opportunity came my way. Every time I took the other option and silenced my being - another huge ass learning opportunity came my way. There was no getting around it. It would come in forms of emails, Facebook comments, Facebook messages, phone conversations, nonverbal energetic experiences. It would be from speaking with friends, family, my partner, my sisters, my clients, my tribe. And to be honest, I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was run and hide. I placed my cheek on Mother Earth and asked for this to be over. I turned my head to the heavens and pleaded that if I promised to be silent, loving, accommodating, and shadow-like, will this cease?
Sister, have you experienced this before?
The truth is my deepest fear is that I am not eternally lovable. My fear is that there will always be a time limit.
The earth rumbled and the sky darkened. This was not the way. This was not the answer.
So I say NO to being quiet, to being the mediator, to feeling small, to treading on thin waters so that my loved ones no longer are angered with me. I say no to fearing that a sister would get defensive, sharp, prickly, annoyed, confrontational, sad, or disappointed with me.
I stand in my value. I am worthy. And so are you.
I stand for no longer placing blame on others but instead owning my own personal experience. I stand for sharing my gifts with it’s fullest value through monetary exchange with no apologies. I stand for creating big, bold impact in the world. I stand for being my full divine imperfect AND perfect self. I stand for messing up and owning the lesson. I stand for believing that my sisters will see my heart, love and devotion in all my actions even if they are triggered. I stand for me and I stand for you.
I invite you to stand for your value because you are worthy of it sister.
What do you stand for, dear one?
To me, this is the beginning of understanding and embodying Soulful Feminine Leadership.
It isn’t an easy path but it’s much needed on this planet. Are you ready to be a stand for sisterhood and leadership that looks entirely different than what we’ve come to deem as right?
I would love to continue this conversation. My desire is that we explore this for a whole year. That’s right, for 12 months what if we investigated what it means to be Soulful Feminine Leaders?
Sound fucking scary and intriguing? Enter and join me.