Have you ever listened to someone heart-fully and intentionally share with you why you are amazing? Have you tried to fully be in your body as you hear a client mirror back to you the reason why they are grateful for your support? Have you tried to stand in grace while someone you love express their deep devotion to you? What happens?
I have been working on receiving gratitude, compliments, and loving shares with openness and grace for a year now. I have to tell you that it’s been fucking hard to hear kind, thoughtful, emotional, loving words and reflections of myself. Each time it gets a little easier but I notice that my energetic container could only hold so much love and so much greatness. Mentally I can check out. I can forget what my sisters shared. I can get really sick. My heart can shut down a little while my energetic body can begin to weave a wall around herself.
Does this happen to you?
The lessons that continue to arise this summer have been about fully embracing love from my sisters. It’s been about embracing the visions they have of me and my future. It’s been about feeling aligned with their confidence in my ability to be a soulful feminine leader. It’s been about saying YES to their encouragement to show up in the world in a greater way.
Let’s be honest. I show up with confidence for my tribe through one-on-one connections, virtual circles, virtual classes, and Radiant Women’s Circle trainings. They feel cozy and intimate and therefore in my comfort zone. My real challenge is to show up creating my magic in front of large groups of women who know nothing about me. My real challenge is to say YES to being a public leader and sharing my work with more than 18 women at a time. My real challenge is to say NO to energy leakage. My challenge is to ask my sisters to be mindful of my time, energy, and wisdom and be prepared to invest in themselves and honor energetic exchange.
Sisters, do you experience this as well?
I know this summer has been about expanding my energetic container to hold more women. I know I am on the precipice of greater opportunities and growth for myself and for my business. How do I know this? Because the Universe laid out a perfect plan for me to feel these uncomfortable growing pains.
Here is a little timeline of my summer so you can get a feel of what I mean.
July 18 - 25: held a Wild Free & Calm Retreat in Peru with extraordinary soulful feminine leaders.
Uncomfortably stretched my love container.
July 30 - Aug 2: led ceremony as a guest mentor for 40 participants at Sara Davidson’s Hello Fearless Boss School Unleash Your Fearless Retreat. Connected with inspiring new entrepreneurs and deepened relationships with heart-centered successful mentors.
Wondered how I could possibly be a mentor among this group of successful women.
Aug14 - Aug16: (this week) hosting a retreat in Asheville for my Magic of Circle ladies where we get to play, be in circle, and jam on our businesses.
Have some doubts that I can create a powerful experience that ignites their passion.
Aug 20 - Aug 23: performing as the Fairy Godmother at Jeannine Yoder’s Captivate Performance and holding circle for her Mentor Masterclass sisters at the Captivate Retreat.
Will people finally realize that I am not an engaging speaker/performer?
Sept 23 - 28: energetically getting ready to hold space at the Everyday Priestess Retreat with my fellow sisters Cora Poage & Paula Orozco.
Who am I to ask women to join me on this path of an Everyday Priestess?
Octo 8 - 11: holding a sacred evening ceremony for my dear sister Hayley Hines at her Soul Sparkle Retreat in Ojai.
Will I be able to create an experience that sparks and speaks to the participants' souls?
Ladies, do you see how the Universe is really pushing me to show up intentionally and fiercely? Even though my ego loudly shares doubts and fears, I choose to move through them.
I am devoted to understanding leadership and the goddesses are desiring me to stand in it myself and embody the essence of soulful feminine leader.
What I have noticed is that there is a process that I am currently exploring which allows me to move through this with grace. Even when I feel frustrated, afraid, angry, confused - I can watch myself experience these emotions and let go of any judgement and give myself permission to really feel instead of numbing myself.
Growth & Expansion Tools
- Notice my self-sabotage behaviors
- Feel the range of my emotions and be okay with it
- Clean, clear & organize my home so I begin to feel grounded and safe
- Find stillness throughout the day and drop to the floor for comfort
- Connect with my soul family who loves all of me
- Show up for all my intimate sister calls and Mistressmind calls because I can lean on these ladies for support
- Remember to do things that I love
- Have sessions with my healers
- Give myself full permission to be exactly where I am
- Pay attention to my thoughts
- Notice the signs of growth
- See the magic & miracle in this expansion process
- Connect with animal medicine such as snake to deepen into my process of transformation
- Enjoy my rituals everyday