How I got here...
When I was in college, I was unstoppable. Unstoppable. I just had this immense knowing that I could co-create whatever it was that I so desired. This was way before I learned about manifestation or any of the spiritual practices I embrace now.
While in college I always worked. I probably worked more than I studied. I worked in advertising, finance, and Wall Street. I also worked as an assistant to the CEO of a modeling agency, and later as a scout. I took an internship at Henri Bendel's and then at Barneys.
Somewhere along the way, I realized I really loved to be in the fashion world because it tapped into my creativity while being business savvy.
As a senior, preparing to look for the real world, I knew I really wanted to work for Gap Corporate because they had this amazing Retail Management Program where you can learn all the different areas within their business. Then, you get to choose the area you want to actually be hired in.
I just knew it was going to be the most amazing opportunity. I knew I was going to get it, even though they scour the entire U.S. and there was a really intense interview process that took a couple of months, including being flown out to San Francisco.
I just knew that I would get it and I did.
I moved out to San Francisco and had the most amazing time feeling quite confident in who I was and what I was doing. So much so that I was being sought after for different jobs after I finished the program, including a planner at Banana Republic and an online merchandiser at Gap.
So what happened?
A relationship happened.
Then a move happened and then feeling like I was being bullied happened.
While this felt like downfall at first, it really wasn’t because I started to learn that was not what I needed to do or where I should be in the world.
Here’s the story.
I decided to reunite and rekindle a love relationship with a past boyfriend. I made the decision to move back to New York from San Francisco, even though I loved being out there and was having the most incredible time.
But I didn’t have healthy boundaries. I was losing myself in the relationship. As a young woman, I did not know the power within myself to be confident in who I was and I was latching onto my identity as his girlfriend.
So I made a decision that was not for my highest good. I moved back to New York to work with the design team instead of staying in San Francisco in the position I really wanted.
Working with the design team in New York, I felt like I knew nothing. I started to get bullied. There were a lot of women who were catty and it just wasn't a nourishing environment.
This is my sister wound, right?
This represents all the things that I did not want to experience, yet it was showing up again and again.
It was a great lesson because my body gave out - remember your body knows.
My back gave out and I was on the floor for three days. The doctor informed me not only did I have a back problem, I was also suffering from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). My entire body was stressed. I was told to do yoga and go to physical therapy.
Through yoga I discovered I could calm my nerves. I was starting to realign with my truest self. I realized I was unhappy with life.
Yet at the given time, my work was awful but my social life was great. I was with a new partner that really allowed me to push who I was into existence and was a yes to all different experiences. He was the one who invited me to consider leaving my job and travel the world.
Before that I would have been a "no" because that's not in the requirements of a good Korean-American girl to do. I thought, "Wow, this is an opportunity for me to actually travel and feel into who I actually am."
So I left work. I sold my apartment and said “yes” to this experience, starting in Argentina and spending six months exploring South America.
I realized this is what I love! I am a natural traveler.
I would not have known that if my body did not give out or if I hadn’t made the choice to really go through the process of healing and learning about what spiritual practices meant and looked like for myself.
It was being in South America that I went to Peru and I fell in love; I felt like I had been here before. That is why I love holding retreats in Peru because it is a natural extension of me. I can remember the immense healing and transformation that happened every single time that I went. It's why I'm so dedicated to bringing other women there.
This experience was truly profound. It was for the grace of goodness from people in my life showing me the way. People in my life providing deep lessons. It helped me really understand that listening to my intuition and going on this journey of asking the question, "Who am I?", was pivotal to me being the person I am now.
So, dear sisters, feel into and celebrate all of the different experiences you have had in your business - whether you work in corporate or as an entrepreneur. Just celebrate all of that. Because all of that helped you get to where you are now.
Now, ask yourself these questions:
Who are you at this very moment? Because of that, how is it that you serve?
Knowing your own stories creates pivotal transformation in other people. Notice if right now you want to be wild and free and calm. Notice if that also means that you desire to travel.
If so, where would you go? What would you do? Can you trust that it's in alignment and that it will happen. Maybe even with me in Peru from September 20 - 27, 2018. (You never know :) )
Just begin to feel into that. What were your stories? What were your past experiences in your careers? Where would you want to go if you had the opportunity to go somewhere? What sacred land calls to you now?
Let me know what comes up for you over in our Stay Sacred community page. It would be an honor to hear your stories and celebrate where you are now.